I AM ASKING FOR AN OPINION, NOT AN ANSWER!

I am writing a book about a detective and a girl who fall in love even though he is doing a case for her missing friend. They get caught in love but his boss, aka his father, tries to pull them apart. When they come face-to face with the murderer, the two realize they might need to stay just friends. What do you think if these lines? (btw i am only 12)

"But, for some strange reason, she was not sad. One would think, that after a friend’s death you would be saddened. This was only because she was with the perfect boy and he, in fact, was with the perfect girl. So in their moment, nothing else mattered, and they would never let go of each other, even if it meant facing their death."